Bad vibes are allowed here.
Take care of yourself in an absolute loving way and reach out for help.
It’s crucial to understand that compared to women, men have the tendency to not reach out for help (men take much longer than women to ask for help).
There are these things called women or men circles. Circles where people come together speaking deeply and sharing deeply about there experiences. (There are many women circles, but only few men circles in time of this writing). I’m not comparing these circles to professional help (but they could be a first great step). What I think is that something incredibly healthy has been missing for a long time, something that we’ve been doing for a very long time: “sitting around a bonfire and telling stories to each other, or telling how you are feeling about something”.
I feel the deep urge within me to restart the men circle I decided to pause in the middle of the year.